The Birds and The Bees
by TheArtificem
Summary: "Anna." Elsa said. "When a man and a woman love each other, they do things-" "No, no, NO. Oh god no!" Anna shrieked, standing up. Elsa finds a mysterious red mark on Anna's neck and decides that it's time to give her the talk.


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**Oh, and I'm looking for a beta who could help me with my stories. If you're interested just message me here or on tumblr! Anyway here's my latest one-shot. Enjoy!**

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The princess is sleeping soundly in her room. The only noises were her light snores and the occasional shuffling of the sheets. Her hair has resembled a bird's nest, and the left side of her body is dangerously close to the edge of the bed. One more shuffle and she would surely fall off. But Anna didn't notice as she was far far away in dreamland.

"No, s'not nice, mhmm, throw people." Anna mumbled in her sleep. The room suddenly became colder, making Anna shiver. Still half-sleeping, she pulled the covers from where it rested to her waist to the top of her neck, burrowing herself in the warm blanket. Anna sighed contentedly and tried to pick up from where her dream was interrupted.

Suddenly, Anna felt a cold feeling on her back. She shrugged it off, but the cold feeling came closer, and closer, and closer, until it made contact with her neck.

"Aak!" Anna shrieked while suddenly sitting up. She put her hand on her back trying to reach whatever it is that touched her. Having made contact with something cold and hard, she grabbed it and held it up, revealing an ice cube. Her eyes slowly drifted from the melting cube to a figure at the foot of her bed, standing there was her sister, Elsa, with a very grim expression on her face.

"Elsaaa." Anna whined. "It's too early, and I was dreaming about chocolate." Elsa's expression didn't change as she pointed a finger at Anna's neck and asked "What's that?"

"What's what?" Anna asked as she rubbed her neck while grabbing the mirror on her bedside table. When her reflection came to view she could clearly see what Elsa was referring to, a reddish mark just above her collar bone.

"Oh, that." Anna said remembering yesterday's events, Sven wandered off, leaving Anna and Kristoff alone in the stables. First they were just hugging, and then they were kissing, and the next thing she knew they were laying down on the haystacks.

Anna's face heated up as she tried to come up with an excuse, covering the mark with her neck, she said in an obviously loud voice. "Well, you know me! Clumsy me, always falling anywhere! It's nothing Elsa! I just bumped somewhere. I mean slipped, not bumped, I think." Anna plastered on her best fake smile after finishing her explanation.

"Slipped where, Anna?" Elsa asked, while arching an eyebrow. "Uhmmmm" Anna started while racking her brain with more excuses. "Erm, at the courtyard? Yeah! I slipped at the courtyard and not on the stables with Kristoff on top of me." Anna's smug expression slipped when she realized what she had just said. Frost started creeping up on the walls, Anna shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. She saw Elsa's blue eyes get icier as it started to get colder in her room.

"Get up, get dressed, and meet me at the study in 15 minutes." Elsa stated in a dangerously quiet voice. Anna nodded weakly as the queen started walking out of her room, a trail of frost following her. Anna touched the mark on her neck and groaned. "Oh boy, I'm in so much trouble."

* * *

It took Anna 5 minutes to get dressed, she was now walking towards the study in a ridiculously slow pace. Every now and then she would stop walking and inspect the curtains, or the flowers, or just about everything she would see so she wouldn't face her sister.

_Maybe I should come clean_, Anna thought. _No, no, if she finds out what really happen she'll get angrier_. Anna sighed, _well judging from her face I guess she already knows_.

As she reached the door of the study, Anna's heart started speeding up, she paced in front of the door. _I can't do this_, the princess thought. _Maybe I could call in sick today._ Another voice rang in her head. _You stupid girl, lying is what got you here in the first place!_ Anna groaned, maybe she should ask the paintings on the portrait room what to do.

But before she could come up with another excuse, Elsa's voice rang from inside the study. "Anna for god's sake, stop talking to yourself and get in here." Anna froze, not realizing that she was saying her excuses out loud. She straightened herself up, placed her shaking hands at the doorknob, and turned it slowly.

As the door opened, Anna saw Elsa facing out the window, looking very much regal with her posture straight as a board, and hands clasped at the back. Anna once again straightened her back, brushed her dress, and walked towards her sister. Elsa suddenly turned around, her face carrying an unreadable expression.

"Sit down Anna." Elsa said as she motioned to a chair in front of her desk. Anna sat awkwardly at the chair, fiddling with the hem of her dress, and not making any eye contact with her sister. After a few moments of awkward silence, Elsa cleared her throat. Anna looked up and saw her sister blush a deep shade of red. "As you know, we have something to talk about." Elsa flitted her eyes to Anna and looked away, she started playing with her braid while biting her lip. She looked nervous. Anna was confused. _Why is she so nervous? She wasn't the one who got caught fooling around the stables._

"Anna." Elsa said nervously. "When a man and a woman love each other, they do things-"

"No, no, NO. Oh god no!" Anna shrieked, standing up. It all makes sense now why her sister was so nervous. She was going to give Anna _The talk. _"You are not going to give me The talk! Oh god. This is so embarrassing." Anna said, blushing the same shade of red as her sister.

"Anna, please." Elsa said. "You need to know these kinds of things. I don't know how deep your knowledge is in this topic, but basing on that mark on your neck I think you already know how things work." Elsa sighed "But I'm still going to tell you the basics, its proper that you hear them from me rather than find it out from Kristoff when you two are doing-" She stopped talking and shuddered at the thought of her baby sister doing inappropriate things with her boyfriend.

"You're gonna teach me?" Anna asked not hiding the shock in her voice. "But Elsa, how do you even know these kinds of things. Unless.." Anna gasped loudly. "Elsa, are you not a vi-"

"No!" Elsa shrieked, her face blushing darker. "Oh god, I mean not no that I'm not. I mean yes I am! Of course I am! God, Anna of course I'm a virgin! I've been locked up for almost 13 yrs. I wouldn't have anyone to do it with!"

"But how do you know these kinds of things?" Anna asked not looking at her sister. Both of them were pacing the room, the air around them stiff. Elsa sighed and forced herself to look at Anna. "I have a lot of free time on my hands, so of course I used that time to study."

"That's kinda boring." Anna chimed in.

Elsa chuckled and continued. "Well for me it's not, anyway I studied the anatomy of the human body. And of course, part of studying the human body is well, learning where it, erm, came from." Elsa finished meekly. "So as your sister, it is my duty to educate you with the birds and the bees."

Elsa then walked to the book shelf and retrieved a book with drawings on them. She placed the book on her desk, showing Anna the content. It's a drawing of a stick, a really weird stick actually. _Why is she showing me a drawing of a stick?_ Anna thought. She looked at her sister with questioning in her eyes, Elsa looked away and blushed again. Anna's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. _Why is she so nervous about showing me a stick?_

"So." Elsa started. "I'm guessing you know what this is?"

Anna had no clue. "Is it a stick, Elsa?" Elsa shrugged, and said. "Uhm, not really."

"Then what is it? Is it something I can play with?" Anna asked innocently.

Elsa choked, trying to control the laughter that was bubbling at her throat. "Well, that depends if you want to play with it."

"Hold up. Why are smiling?" Anna asked accusingly. Elsa didn't notice that her lips were already quirked up from Anna's ridiculous question.

"What's so funny?" Anna asked.

Elsa can't control it anymore, laughter rose from her throat, she wiped the tears from her eyes and placed a hand on her mouth to stop herself. Anna was still looking at her with an annoyed expression on her face. Elsa forced herself to stop laughing, and tried to speak in her most formal voice. "Anna, this is the male organ. It's a reproductive organ that additionally serves as the urinal duct. When a man is sexually aroused-" Elsa stopped to look at her sister, who was looking anywhere but her. "It stiffens and rises, and can be used for sexual intercourse." Elsa finished.

Anna's face started to go red as Elsa's words sank. "Oh god. That's what's under their trousers?" Anna exclaimed. Elsa nodded, her lips tugging slightly at the corners, her sister's innocence was so adorable. "And I just asked you if I could play with it?" Anna placed her hands on her face, hiding herself. "I am so embarrassed right now Elsa." She mumbled. Elsa laughed. "Don't worry Anna, I'm actually embarrassed for the both of us. So let's just get this over with, and we can pretend it never happened." Anna nodded, and sat down. "So that's the male organ, I uhm, don't have to show you the female organ, of course you, erm, know what it looks like." Elsa stammered. Anna looked away and said. "Yeah, uhm, don't worry I know what it looks like." The awkwardness of the topic was getting worse, Anna wished for the ground to open and swallow her up.

Elsa continued. "So ah, as I was saying earlier, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they do some things." Anna can't take it anymore. "Just get to the point Elsa." She said, wanting to end this discussion faster. Elsa looked at her nervously, she nodded and took a deep breath.

"TheManPutsHisOrganInsideAWomansOrganAndTheyHaveIntercourse." Elsa rushed the words out not breathing until after the sentence. Anna's eyes widen, her mouth forming an _o. They put that thing in here?! _Anna thought. She couldn't speak so she just stared at Elsa.

"Well glad that's out of the bag. Now, we need to discuss protection." Elsa said, she took the book and started turning the pages. "I know that part's in here somewhere."

"Elsa, I don't think it necessary. You see-"

Elsa cut her off with a wave of her hand. "No Anna, it's necessary and important. We don't want you getting pregnant, especially when you're not ready."

"Pregnant? Elsa I think you have the wrong ide-"

"Ah I found it!" Elsa said, she placed the book down and looked at Anna. "So according to this book there's this protection called Condom. It's used as a cover on the male organ so the female won't get pregnant."

Anna was really embarrassed now, she doesn't need those Con-something's that Elsa's talking about. She doesn't need it because she and Kristoff haven't done anything yet, all they did in that stable was kiss each other. _Oh my god, Elsa thinks we've done it_. Anna says to herself_. I have to tell her that we're totally innocent before she says something embarrassing again._ Anna opened her mouth to speak but Elsa beat her to it.

"Anyway condoms are expensive and are only sold at pubs, chemist shops, and open-air markets. And we can't have you going out there and buying some-"

"Elsa."

"I mean can you imagine the scandal if somebody saw you there buying protect-"

"Elsa, listen!"

"I can see the headlines right now, 'The royal gates aren't the only thing that's spreading apart-"

"Oh god Elsa no! I'm not-"

"Maybe I can ask Kai to buy you some. But he has to be discreet. Or else-"

"ELSA, WILL YOU PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!" Anna shouted.

Elsa finally stopped talking and looked at her sister. Anna was breathing hard, her face was red, and her warm blue eyes looked embarrassed.

"Elsa. I. Am. A. Virgin." Anna said, punctuating every word to make sure Elsa understood her.

Elsa just stared at Anna, letting her words sink in. "What? But. The mark on your neck. I thought." Elsa was confused now, she put her hands to her temple and started massaging them. Anna sighed and walked over to her sister. "Elsa, when me and Kristoff got to the necking part we stopped, we said we would take it slow."

Elsa exhaled a sigh of relieve and took Anna's hand. "Thank god, for a few minutes there I thought my baby sister was all grown up." Anna giggled and said. "Nope, don't worry. You're little sister is still innocent as a new born. That is until you tainted my brain with those hideous images." Elsa laughed and started playing with her sister's braid. "I'm sorry I freaked out. I just assumed that, you know. I guess learning that my baby sister isn't that pure anymore freaked me out."

Anna smiled and embraced Elsa, leaning her chin at her older sister's shoulder she said. "That's okay. You were just looking out for me. And don't freak out okay? You won't have to buy those condems-"

"Condoms, Anna." Elsa corrected.

"Whatever, those protection thingys cause it's gonna be a long long time before I need one of those." Elsa laughed and embraced her sister tighter. After a while she pulled back. Placing her hand on Anna's cheek, she looked at her sister's warm blue eyes and said softly. "Hey."

"Mhm?" Her sister said, her adorable face being illuminated by that beautiful smile that's so bright, and so pure, and so Anna. Elsa smiled lovingly at her and said.

"Never get older, Anna."


End file.
